I usually blog about what I've already done.
My style's been retrospective for the most part. But after months of being in transition, moving from one state to another, and starting new opportunities, what I have to share is pretty much undone. Much of what I'm working on is very much in progress, especially because academic publishing can be very slow. Also, what's become an extended sabbatical from facilitating meditation has led me to reflect on how different aspects of my life fit together (or not). In short, for the past year, really, reflection has been my action.
What if I share more of the process?
I'm remembering one reason I started this blog in the first place: to share back about my experiences with living as a scholar-practitioner, writing academically, practicing radical self care (or not), everyday racisms, and more.
So, it feels liberating to share not what's done or even "coming together". Here are just some ideas and thoughts coming up at the moment:
1) deep appreciation for The Soulful Art of African-American Quilts by Sonie Ruffin and its mix of story, quilt patterns, and memories,
2) on-going passion for focusing on Black lives and living as a researcher,
3) exploring what it feels like to "come to" meditation not only as a practitioner and guide, but also as a researcher,
4) feeling how theories that provide insight into the history and present conditions of individual and global lives, can indeed be healing (homage to bell hooks), and
5) reminding myself that critical analysis can live both within and beyond academic journals, and it always has
Writing this now, part of me wants to create an action plan. Somewhere on the journey, I internalized productivity so deeply that I can have trouble just being for being sake. Just creating, to create.
My deeper pull at this moment is to simply acknowledge what's come up. Maybe I'll dig deeper and write down more ideas and thoughts. Maybe I'll make some art, just because. But can I release that need to plan right away or to produce something "solid"?